theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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