There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
