it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
