I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
and you fell through a lawn chair
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
