Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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