He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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