areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
