So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
