Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
