I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
so much tequila, so little girl.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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