it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
