Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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