Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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