How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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