I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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