Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Randomize
