You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize