I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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