I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Damn victory sex feels great
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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