..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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