You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
