Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
