She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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