I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
