So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Are my feet made of real feet?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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