Just fell off a train. Bad.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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