It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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