you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
