I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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