Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
So many bounce houses so little time
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You did what with his pubic hair?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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