I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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