i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I need to align my fucking chakras
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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