I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
This is classic penis vs brain.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
