I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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