Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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