i jhust puked up my retainher.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It's rum buckets o'clock
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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