super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
