is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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