I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Can I color on your dick again?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
