I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
