Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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