why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize