I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
