Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
