Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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