this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
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I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
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Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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