i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
