My room smells like vodka and shame
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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