I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
