So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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