Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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