I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
well you can't waste a boner
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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