Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
i believe in u and ur pee
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
