are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
