so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
