those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
