I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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