At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
