the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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