Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
