I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
